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The importance of meet-cutes cannot be overstated. Meet-cutes, those serendipitous and often whimsical encounters between potential partners, hold a special place in our collective imagination and play a crucial role in the formation of meaningful relationships.
Dana was strolling through her Chicago neighborhood with her new black lab puppy on any typical day in 2008. She happened to pass Brett, a male, while he was walking his Shih Tzu puppy. The two continued to run into each other on dog walks over the course of a few weeks, and one day they discovered they had the same dog, Tucker.
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After a brief exchange of words, Brett proposed a date to Dana. “Yes,” she replied. Following a three-year engagement, they were married in 2011. They had a unique wedding portrait made just for their dogs, Big Tuck and Little Tuck.
“Meet-cutes,” or the amusing and endearing accounts of how two people met, such as Dana and Brett’s, can facilitate the growth of a relationship. Amie Leadingham, a licensed relationship coach, states that “every love story is different and often it’s the meet-cute that sets the stage for the romance that blossoms.”
Terri Orbuch, PhD, a professor at Oakland University in Michigan and the author of Finding Love Again: 6 Easy Steps to a New and Happy Relationship, stated that a person’s dating history is what makes their relationship develop over time and gives them a romantic, humorous, or enjoyable story to tell others about their experiences.
Couples who share this shared narrative have a common understanding of their relationship and how it began that they can jointly tell and laugh about together,” Orbuch says.
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Famous Romantic Comedy Meet-Cutes
There are often humorous or endearing initial interactions between two characters in romantic comedies that result in a relationship.
For example, Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal’s characters met in the infamous film “When Harry Met Sally” while traveling from Chicago to New York. Their mutual acquaintance arranged for them to meet since they were both going to the same city. The two are not fond of one another, but after five years they happen to meet on a plane, and then again at a bookshop, which leads to coffee dates and ultimately love.
Every love story is unique, and often, it’s the meet-cute that sets the stage for the romance that blossoms.
— AMIE LEADINGHAM, RELATIONSHIP COACH
The characters of Kumail Nanjiani and Zoe Kazan cross paths in “The Big Stick” when she heckles him during his stand-up comedy routine. Later, when he confronts her about it, his irritation ignites.
In the film “Hitch,” Will Smith portrays a date doctor who, upon witnessing Eva Mendes’ persona being pursued by another man at the bar, poses as Eva Mendes’ boyfriend. Although she is first equally irritated by Smith’s persona, they ultimately become romantically involved.
Do Fate Matters in Meet-Cutes?
According to Leadingham, a meet-cute involves more than simply two individuals meeting; it also involves fate drawing them together at the ideal time when they are both single and willing to fall in love.
She continues, “And of course, these stories highlight special times when two souls meet by chance and fall madly in love.” “It reads like a great real-life rom-com.”
According to Connell Barrett, the executive coach and founder of Dating Transformation, fate also has a significant influence. He gestures to one of his clients, Jason, who met Jessica, his current partner, on a commuter train.
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They were seated across from an elderly woman who had fallen asleep and began to snore loudly. Barrett adds, “Jason and Jessica could not help but smile and laugh at this loud, snoring woman, so they started talking.” “That woman was snoring loudly, and fate also made sure they sat together.”
But he also points out that face-to-face communication can influence fate. He says, “You have to venture out into the world and give fate a chance.” When they do occur, meet-cutes might give a pair the impression that they were destined to be together.
“Let me tell you about how I swiped right on your grandma’s profile,” you probably won’t be gathering your grandchildren in 50 years. But if you met because you were paired up in a dance class you both took on a random Wednesday night, that story will last a lifetime,” says Barrett.
Reasons Why Putting Yourself Out There Can Help You Meet Someone
According to Orbuch, going out into the real world can improve your chances of running across someone with whom you could fall in love. She does clarify, though, that meeting that person isn’t always about the initial attraction.
Rather, she explains, “the mere-exposure theory in psychology states that you can begin to feel familiar with people when you see them often (repeatedly), and then you’re more likely to talk and start liking them.”
Put differently, the more people you interact with or are exposed to on a regular basis, the more likely you are to develop a liking for them and possibly even find someone you could fall in love with. “Joining a regular organization or an interest that meets in person will thereby improve your chances of running across someone with whom you might fall in love.
Ways to expose yourself to a potential meet-cute
- Instead of having lunch at your desk, Barrett says go to a bustling restaurant and sit at the
bar—who knows who might sit next to you. - Find a passion project, take up a hobby, or join a group that puts you in direct contact with other people. “Join a soccer league or take an Italian-cooking class or sign up for an acting or improv class. Or take dance lessons,” says Barrett.
- Embrace the art of being present with your surroundings. “Keep your head up and your device down, and engage with the world. Take your headphones off when you are at the gym and start connecting,” says Leadingham.
- Go to new places, such as a bookstore, art workshop, restaurant, or a local event. “Spark up conversations and initiate dialogue with a genuine compliment or an insightful reflection,” says Leadingham. “It’s your opportunity to brighten someone’s day…and possibly start your own meet-cute story.”
Dating Apps Have the Power to Start In-Person Meet-Cutes
According to Barrett, the majority of individuals meet and date using dating apps, making online dating the largest threat to the meet-cute.
Many singles now find it simple to secure dates and swipe through potential partners until their dating card is full thanks to online dating. However, the result has been a sharp decline in meet-cutes, he claims. at the past, when two single people met at a grocery store, coffee shop, or bar, their eyes would meet and they would start a conversation. However, the advent of internet dating has conditioned us to search for love online rather than in person with strangers.
But, you don’t have to give up on dating apps entirely. In fact, a Pew Research Center study claims that 10% of partnered adults—that is, those who are married, cohabitating, or in a committed romantic relationship—met their spouse through dating websites or apps.1.
According to Leadingham, you’re not providing yourself opportunity to interact with people in person if you’re spending all of your time indoors and relying solely on dating apps.
“For this reason, I constantly advise individuals to do more than simply use online dating services; they should also go out and meet people in person. The secret is to position oneself to make genuine connections with others, whether they are engaging in a new interest or something they already love.
Online dating has made it easy for many singles to get dates and to swipe until their dating dance-card is full. But the consequence has been a stark decrease in meet-cutes,
— CORNELL BARRETT, FOUNDER AND EXECUTIVE COACH OF DATING TRANSFORMATION
She goes on to say, citing an instance from her personal experience, that online dating can lead to some very fortunate events. She met her spouse on an online dating app before turning into a dating coach. “I ended up calling him after I abruptly canceled our date because I was having second thoughts. I sat there explaining my nervousness and asked him if he would still like to meet in person when he really picked up the phone. He approached me hesitantly,” she says.
She remembers that during their first few hours of dating, he seemed aloof at first, but eventually, they started to fall in love. I could have sent him muddled and confusing messages, and he might have opted not to go on that date with me.
But, he did. And as luck would have it, our souls began to mate and we were enamored with each other. We are still going strong after thirteen years.
Regardless of how a couple meets—online, offline, through a matchmaker, or through another method—Orbuch asserts that what matters is the narrative they write about how their love began and progressed.
Conclusion
The importance of meet-cutes remains undeniable in the realm of modern romance. These serendipitous encounters offer a unique opportunity for genuine connection, spontaneity, and shared storytelling. They remind us of the beauty of human connection and the magic of chance encounters in an increasingly digital world. Meet-cutes create lasting memories, build trust and chemistry, and add depth to relationships, serving as cherished moments in the journey of love. As we navigate the complexities of dating and relationships, let’s not overlook the significance of these whimsical and often life-changing encounters. After all, sometimes the most meaningful connections are found in the unexpected moments of our lives.